“It gets worse before it gets better”, said the vet to his
new apprentice as they arrived at Donaldson’s Farm with appointment’s to see
the dairy herd and the rare breed pigs. The apprentice blanched and once again
regretted not quite making the grades needed for the dentistry course.
a confabulum is a word doodle from lobecast. dashed off between the morning gin and the afternoon torpor. designed to delight and amaze, each one is more confabulous than the last. follow me on twitter @lobecast ;-)
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Monday, 20 July 2015
Write your own list, ffs
There is a template in MS Word for a business trip
checklist.
I’m not sure how much to say about this, the full horror is
reproduced below for your pleasure.
What I will say is how badly do you have to be failing at
organising your life that you need Microsoft to remind you to sort out care for your children?
Sunday, 19 July 2015
Abigail & Bevan
A chill ran through Abigail’s spine. She had returned from the
launderette with her regular service wash and was engaged in the tedium of
putting the clean washing away. The first item she had pulled from the crisp
nylon bag was a pair of socks. Off-white, though originally crisp white, with a
blue and red band around the top. These were a fairly unremarkable pair of
sports socks, of men’s sports socks. As a career minded singleton in her third
decade Abigail had no man in her life, certainly not one that would maintain a
relationship with a sports sock long enough for it to age to such an extent.
Abigail glanced down into the launderette’s bag and even at
a cursory glance she could see that the bag of washing Mr Williams had passed
to her over the Formica worktop of Suds Launderette earlier that day did not
contain one blouse or chemise belonging to her. Her face fell and her mind
raced to wonder which individual had received her washing and where her power
wardrobe of upper high street brand clothing now resided. A grave feeling of
powerlessness swept over her as she looked at the clock 7:18pm and on a
Saturday, it would be over 36 hours before she could return to Suds in the hope
of rectifying this terrible occurrence.
Little did Abigail know that but 3 streets over Bevan was
having a similar, yet more powerful experience as a result of this mistake born
in the heat of the lunch hour rush at Suds launderette. Bevan had always had a
complicated relationship with his gender identity, something that the societal
pressure to conform had always kept a lid on. However the untying of the coarse
handles of the laundry bag had also untied feelings Bevan had been suppressing for years. As he gazed down at clean, light fabrics of a female wardrobe the
tumblers of his mind started to click into place, starting him on the long
journey to self-fulfillment. Abigail would have been scandalised, not over Bevan’s
gender crises, but at how much better he was able to wear that strappy dress
from Zara
Saturday, 18 July 2015
Enthusiasm & clear direction is the key to success
Down
Down
Left a bit
A bit more
There!
That’s it, right there
Yes
That’s it
Harder
Harder
Up a bit
Faster
Oh, yes
Yes
Yes
YES
Say what you like about Terry Danielson, he was an
enthusiastic instructor with the sandblaster
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